Monday, August 20, 2007

The Case of the Missing Trash Can, or Where the Heck Am I Going to Put All This Garbage?

Friday night, approximately 5pm, I go to take the trash out.
We have one of those side doors in our garage, you know, one of those doors that you pay a ridiculous amount for from the builder just so you don't have to walk around your house to take out the trash. I opened said door and there was no trash can. Ahh, professor did you forget to bring it in from Thursdays pick-up? No problem, I just put it in the mini trash can we keep in the garage for fast food wrappers. What, you don't have a place you put your QT 44 oz cups and Sonic ice cream cups so no one knows when you sneak a pick me up? You should. Besides, I wasn't going to walk all the way out front to bring in the can. That's someone else's job.
Saturday, approximately 4pm, I go to take the trash out.
By the way, isn't this HIS job? But I digress.
Since the mini trash can is full, I figure I'll open the garage door and, yes, pull the can in. Again, Isn't this HIS job? Everyone knows all trash duties are done by the men, right? Yeah, right. I'm not complaining, he does laundry. It's an equal trade.
Anyways, there's no trash can by the curb. He must've pulled it in and I didn't realize it. So I open the aforementioned very expensive side door. Umm, no trash can there either. Tired of carrying the bag of trash around, I pile it on top of the already overflowing mini trash can and head inside.
"Hey, do you know where the trash can is?" I ask.
"On the side of the house." He says.
"No it's not, and it's not out front either," I say.
We look at each other. Did someone steal our trash can? Who would do such a thing? Don't they know pretty soon we are going to be swimming in our own refuse? Oh no, panic starts to set in.
I bet it was punk teenagers! Or the neighbors looking for an extra! Maybe the punk teenagers stole theirs and so they stole ours and now we have to go steal someone elses! But I don't want to steal someone's trash can! I want my trash can! What are we going to do?!
Sunday, approximately 12pm. I now have to find a place for the trash.
Professor notices the neighbors across the street have TWO trashcans, one in front, one right behind the fence. Are you kidding? They took our can and are trying to hide it from us! And we just saw them at church!
I call, "Hey, I have a funny question to ask," I say.
"I have a funny answer," he says.
"We are missing our trash can," I say.
"So it's YOUR trash can," he says, laughing.
Apparently, during the very windy dust storm Thursday night, our trash can got blown away. And landed in his yard. He thought it was his, so he put it away. A day later he noticed that he already had one behind the fence. Hmmmm. Interesting.
I met him out front to retrieve my can.
"Sorry about the fast food wrappers in it," he says.
"Hey, I completely understand," I say.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So funny, and I totally understand. We would die without our trash can!

Megan said...

It IS the mans job to take out the trash... along with mowing the lawn and grilling! How did you get your hubby to do laundry? I am going to have to take lessons from you. Obviously you have secret ways!
I don't have a mini trash can and I curse quite often that I do not!