My uniform

I need an apron.

I haven't decided which kind of apron. Do I go for a full frontal, or just the little skirt variety? Hmmmm...

I really liked this apron my sister in law Liz posted about. Very stylish. It's no longer available on Etsy, though.

I don't know where to find an apron. Do they sell them at Target? Because I hardly ever go anywhere besides Target. I mean, I have 4 kids, come on.

I know I could find one online. But I've never been much of an online shopper. It stems back 5 years ago to some online maternity clothing purchases. Oh. the. horror.

Why do I need an apron?

Because good moms have and wear aprons.

I haven't actually seen any of my friends wear them, but I remember my mom did. It was red with little flowers and an eyelet lace border. It came up around the neck and tied in the back.

Aprons might've gone out of style the same time being a stay at home mom did, but I'm not sure. I can guess somewhere along the line someone assumed that the only women who wore aprons were those stuck in the kitchen. I'm sure there was a big rally with picket signs that had aprons with giant slashes through them. I can guess that all the women brought their aprons and had an apron-burning, you know, to symbolize freedom from oppression. And then the aprons were gone.

I received an apron as a wedding gift. It was hideously ugly, as I recall. I wore it once, and I wasn't cooking in the kitchen at the time. It didn't make all 7 of our moves.

So now I am in need of one. I need an apron to take my job seriously. It'll be my business suit and my bluetooth, my uniform. I'll get ready in the morning, put on my apron and start my job as "mother to my children". If I'm wearing the apron, I'm sure I'll find time to cook dinner instead of heading out to Grandmas. With the apron, I'll scrub my kitchen floors and finally put away the laundry pile. I'll be able to take this job I have a little more seriously, because you can't sit around and do nothing while wearing an apron. I will be the epitome of motherhood.

I told my friend this. I tell her everything every morning at 5am, sometimes 4:30. She quips back,"But are you going to make it? Because that's what a good mom would do."

I need a pattern for an apron.